Hey there Hi there Ho there

I am having a grand ole time! I am in the lobby of the hotel we are staying at and a drunk guy just asked me in russian where the bathroom is... yeahhhh i have no idea....

I will be writing more about what i am experiencing here when I return. God is doing amazing things in Latvia and all the orphans here.

goodnight.

I had this dream and here it goes:

I was sitting on bleachers... alone, by a river. I saw watching this guy that I like playing football. But... he was all the way on the other side of the river, and I was really far away from him.

So at half time I got up and walked through the river to the other side. While this football game was going on, I remember the colors, it was like a sunset, everywhere... kind of what heaven would look like. Soft light, that made everything glow and look absolutly perfect. But, anyway... I get over there and they start to play again and I sit behind his bench.

He turns around to me and looks at me with those eyes (oh, those eyes) and says

"(mynamehere), I love you."

I remember just staring at him, and then beginning to feel this indescribable feeling. It was like happiness, sadness, releif and just pure amazment. I looked at him, not losing eye contact, got on my knees next to him and started crying. Scilent tears, the ones that just roll down your cheek. I leaned my head on him. Looked back up at him through tear filled eyes and said...

"I love you too."

I cannot stop thinking about this dream.

So, I'm completely convinced that if guys never exisited, my life would be SO much easier. Really, right now, there's only one guy I would want to have a relationship with and he's pretty much out of reach. So, I've come to the conclusion that if I get my mind off of him, life will be better. I think that the thoughts of him make everything in my head so much more confusing (I've been told that I'm impossible to read. I open up A LOT on this blog, probably because it's annoymous.).

I don't know if you guys have ever seen "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", but here it is in a nut shell.

These two people meet, they fall in love, they get into a fight or something and they get their memories completely erased of eachother. There's like this person that can erase their memory of something or something crazy like that. So if they passed eachother on the street they would have no clue who the other person was, right?
Well... even though they get their memory erased, they meet eachother again, and... fall in love, go figure.

But that's how I'm feeling right now, I want my memory completly erased. I want him to have never been in my life.

Let me make another comparsion... The Great Gatsby (by: F. Scott Fitzgerald).

Gatsby is in love with this girl, Daisy. He's broke, no money. He goes away to war and tells her to wait for him. She doesn't, she's lonely and wants money, which Gatsby doesn't have.
Gatsby comes back from the war... finds out, and is heart-broken. He gets a butt load of money, thinking that she'll come back if he has money and extravgant parties, but she doesn't. She is all he can think about for 5 years. He buys a house across the lake from hers. He can see the green light on the end of her dock. He makes her become perfect in his mind. He could not find a flaw if he tried. She is EVERYTHING. Can you say obsessed? Uh, yeah. OBSESSED.

That's what I've done with this guy. It's like, I've been thinking about him so much, that he longer has any flaws in my eyes. He is, to me, perfect, everything I could ever want, he's my Daisy... I guess you could say.

Okie Dokie, that's it.

Italian

[] The Godfather is a great movie.
[]Your (grand)mother makes her own sauce.
[] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[x] You know a lot of italian songs.
[]You have dark hair and dark eye color
[] You speak some italian.
[x]You are under 5'10''.
[x] Pizza is the best food in the world.
[x]You talk with your hands.
total= 5

Hispanic
[] You say member instead of REmember
[] You speak some or fluent spanish.
[x] You love rice and Beans.
[]YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[] You are dark skinned
[] You know what a Bodega is.
[] You talk fast.
[x] If you are a guy you get a shape up, If you are a girl you have had highlights or dyed your hair.
total=2

Russian
[ ] you say villain as: Vee-lon
[] you know of sombody named boris/natasha
[x] you do not get cold easily
[x]you get short tempered
[ ] white white skinned
[x]you are athletic
[] snow is fun for you
[ ] You get into contests often
[x] You can easily make due with the cold weather
total= 4

Irish
[] you think beer is the best.
[] You have a bad temper.
[ ] Your last name starts with a Mc OR Murph or O' or Fitz or ends with a ly,on,un,ry.
[x]You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[x] You have been to a st.pattys day party.
[x] You never had a hangover.
total=4

Black
[ You say nigga/nukka casually
[ ]You have nappy hair
[] You LIKE rap
[x] You talk with slang
[] You know how to shoot a gun
[ ] You think President George Walker Bush is racist
[x]You like chicken
[x ]You like watermelon
total= 3

Asian
[ ] you have slanty eyes
[x] you love RICE
[x ]you are smart
[x]you have played the piano
[ ] you have family from asia
[] you have teeny feet
[ ] u laugh covering your mouth
[ ] most people think you're chinese
[ ] you call hurricanes typhoons
total=3

German
[x] You like bread
[] think American Chocolate would be better with less Sugar
[]You dont drink your soda without ice
[] You Speak intermediate German
[]You know what Schnitzel is and you love it
[x]u are Catholic or Lutheran
[] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi
[x] you went to kindergarten
[] you're over 5' 10"
total= 3

Canadian
[] You play hockey
[] You love beer
[ ] You say eh
[x]You don't believe war is the answer
[] You know what poutine is
[x] You speak some french
[x] You love Tim Horton's
[ ] At one point you lived in a cabin
[] You have gotten high
total= 3

I guess this means I'm Italian... yeah, not at all.