So, everyone's got someone. It's like being picked last for kickball. Or... Noah's Arc... one by one they're all being paired off. I'm not sure if it bothers me or not. I mean I feel like I am losing some of my good friends but I'm also gaining relationships with other friends. AND my relationship with God is growing stronger all the time.

But sometimes... you just want someone to sit down with and talk to. Someone that will listen to all that you have to say...

So I think I've realized that all good things DO come to an end. But- life after whatever is ending can be what you make it. It takes a lot of effort to figure out the new you and how you will make the best of the situation. But I will. And life will be better than ever.

I look at this as a new beginning and a fresh start.

From this moment on... I'm a new woman.

P.S.- I change my mind. God is the only good thing that will never come to an end!

Sometimes lifes too slow, and sometimes it's way too fast. It's hard leaving friends you just met with the fear of never being able to see them again.

My week was perfect, nothing could have been better. I miss it already. :(

I was so happy. But now it's back to the real world and life as I know it. I still want to continue serving God in whatever I do and I will. I don't need to be on a trip to witness to people.

I learned a lot about God and a lot about myself.

Turns out I'm a people person.

So I've really avoided and put off what I need to tell this guy. I've always been there and I've always been the friend. And each day... no... each MINUTE i spend with him it seems like I fall for him more. Every conversation I've ever had with him had played over in my head, and I try to understand and interpert his words, like it's a puzzle. And if his actions had just been friendly or if he really wanted to be near to me. I feel so pathetic that I've felt this way for well over 6 years, trying to figure out what to say to him. Running the conversation over and over in my head. Trying to see how he would react. And all these times I've run it over in my head, and even though I know him pretty well, I still have no idea how he would react if I told him. Would he surprised? Like he never ever saw it coming in a hundread years. Would he know I've had these feelings for him all along, and give me a polite hug. Would never want to talk to me again. Or... the exact opposite... actually WANT to be with me and feel the same way.

All the questions and sceniros have passed through my head a billion times. But all this worrying has done, has made me terrified of facing him.

It's killing me. And everytime I see him, I wonder if he knows I'm thinking about him or how much pain he's caused me without even knowing it.

I'm not immature, I know what love is and I know how bad it hurts.

oh man.... hahaha